Im still awesome at growing!

Last week Mom decided that I needed a trip to the doctors office for a check up and I'll be honest, I was NOT looking forward to it! I dont really understand why she needs to take me to see some random person just to hear how awesome I am, but I played along knowing that I would get stickers and a cookie after.

My weight was right on track at 24lbs, in the 50th percentile


My head was in the astonishing 95th percentile
(obviously my brain needs room!)


My height was at a perfect 75th percentile


... what I was expecting was the darn shot that I got for something called the "Chicken Pox!"
Why do I need this again? I dont hang around chickens nor do I eat chickens!! Can I get something from watching the Sesame Street chickens?!?!?... Please discuss!

Dressed for Success?

Ok, fine....I'm up. But you still have to dress me! You realize that this thing I have on me is not a great looking shirt, but skin, right? See? SKIN!


Oh....so you don't care? You're okay with me walking around the house half naked? Ok, you just keep on being lazy, I've got stuff to do.

Well, I guess if I'm wearing my pretty boots with fringe (don't all good boots come with fringe?), then I might as well be dressed....I'm off to play in your room. Later!

You call them antiques, I call them toys! Let's get to playing!

Holy Crap! I just realized that the whole neighborhood can see me though the open windows! I'm half naked because of your laziness! But damn....I do want to play....

Brilliant! What a grand solution! I get below the windows and I play like the true player for real that I am...play on player!

Dressed to Impress!

Oh...hello! I didn't hear you come in! Well, please make yourself comfortable. Perhaps you are wondering how/why I looking so smashingly dressed today? Well, let me tell you all about it! First, let's get in the way-back machine and see how we got here....

Ok...that's not back far enough, this was like 20 minutes ago when I was eating breakfast and Max dog was watching me like a hawk looking for a morsel to gobble...so, let's go back to just after I pulled myself out of bed this morning.....

Well, this is actually about 30 minutes after I got up, so let me fill you in on what transpired before you arrived. After mom got me out of bed, I wondered down to her closet and began to admire all the cool clothing she had. I wanted to pick something nice, but I just couldn't settle on one thing...so I picked two! I sat myself down and slowly managed to pull over my pajama bottoms two pairs on mom's underwear....looking good Mallory!

So, after putting on two pairs of mom's undies, I went over to my dirty laundry and found myself some socks that would match my outfit....dope!

After the socks, came my one mistake....I tried to fit a very cute pair of jeans over a diaper, pajama bottoms, and two pairs of mom's underwear...alas, no luck. Not sure why, but they didn't fit.

Needless to say, I was not all that discouraged. After I was almost dressed, I gave myself the once over and concluded that I looked asheome!

So.....that leads us back to where we are right now....oh yea, but on the way downstairs I found this great matching pair of Crocs....I know....you don't have to say it.....Dopest. Outfit. Ever!!!!

Birds of a Feather!

So, the other day we packed up our old bread and headed down to the Palace of Fine Arts to see the birdies. When we arrived I pointed out to dad the one that I wanted and told him to make it happen.

So, dad dug deep into his bag of bread and pulled out a nice big chunk.

Bread me man! Once I was armed with a nice chunk of bread, I reared back and flung the chunk of bread into the water...well, in the direction of the water, we're still working on my arm strength. Anyway, after we had repeated this process a few times, the bird rush was on!

As the birds gathered, dad continued to spread the bread around....and I quickly became the most popular person in the area!

Ah....look at all my admirers....I'm the queen of bird world!

Okay my little minions, its been fun to see you and feed you, but I don't like the way the kid and his hippie-haired father are eye-balling you.

So, back to the water! All of you! Return from where you came! I'm not sharing my hard earned bird love with that kid: back! BACK I SAY!

I will make monkeys of these Monkeys!

This is my St. Louis Cardinals hat, I've had it for about 18 months, and now it finally fits me! I'm not really sure I like hats in general, but I'm willing to wear it on occasion. BUT, more than being willing to personally wear it, I'm willing to share it with my friends!

So, for example, the other day I went up to Mr. Monkey and told him that it was his turn to wear the STL hat...lucky monkey!

Shockingly, Mr. Monkey would have none of it, and jumped off the bench and tried to choke me out from behind!

Too bad for him, I'm a karate master and I threw him over my shoulder and began to give him the beating of his life time!

Once I had him on the ground and was really putting and beat down on him, I aggressively suggested that he needed to Tap Out before I broke myself off a little chunk of monkey tail! He did....softy.

I wanted to continue the beating, but mom held me back and suggested that Mr. Monkey had learned his lesson.

So, I went over and quietly whispered in his ear, that if he would wear the hat, I'd promise to not beat him anymore today, he agreed.

So, after making a monkey of this monkey (as was his destiny), I helped him up by his necked and happily placed my hat upon his slightly bruised head.

Hello? What is this?!

It's Monday, so that means Rec Center! When we arrived, I raced over to my car and pushed some little boy out of my way because he was showing so interest in my ride....and I don't play like that.

Anyway, once I got in my car, got it started and had the horn working, I was all smiles....until I spotted some new contraction across the room....it was a devilish looking machine....I must have it!

So, I jumped out of my car and raced across the room to the...um....er.....I have no idea what this thing is....or how the hell to make it work! Christ...I feel like I'm in Tron.

Okay...I think I'm getting the hang of this thing....let this be a lesson to you, if you see a toy and no one is around it, chances are that it either sucks or no one can figure out what to do with it...."Krazy Kar" my ass...how about LAME!

Aggressive Riding

So, as you might remember, I have a horse...or maybe its a donkey....either way, his name is Rody, you can see it tattooed to his side under my leg. I like Rody, he's dope. When I'm in a bad mood or sad because mom and dad will not let me have any more potato chips, I get on my horse/donkey and I ride....it helps me clear my head. Notice, when I get on, I'm sad, a bit melancholy, but.....

once the ride begins, and Rody and I start to get a little air under our hooves, all my problems just drift away!

Sure, some times it might take a little longer, or it might take a bit more of an aggressive riding style, but eventually all my problems just seem to go away....I have no idea how it works, but when I get off of my trusty stead....

I'm all smiles! Very Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind if you ask me...but with less wires.