Hello? Child Protective Services? Hello?

So, today I got my first phone, well actually Blackberry, I have a lot of people I have to keep in touch with. My first call was to CPS to ask if my parents preferring that I sleep at night and not scream all day was a form of abuse. I mean, don’t I have rights? Freedom of expression! Freedom of speech! What about my need to express myself? So few rights for a baby in this world!
My second call was to the vet. I needed to ask if I could come in and get my collar off. Sure, it keeps me from licking my incisions, but it keeps bumping into the walls when I roam and slamming into my water bowl when I try to drink. So much oppression!