Cold Fusion

By definition, people look at babies as either the cutest things on earth (these people are called mom and dad) or an annoyance to be barely tolerated because they'd send you to jail for killing it(these are the people one row in front and one row behind me on an airplane.)
Realizing this, and feeling the need to better our position in the eye's of our fellow citizens, we babies and infants have banded together to solve a few of the globe's major problems: global warming, waining energy supplies, pollution and other associated and related geopolitical situations, relations, and interactions. My friends, what I am here to talk to you about today is a little something called Cold Fusion.
Sure, some clowns claimed that they had discovered the secret to this a few years ago, but they were never able to replicate their claim. Well friends, what is discussed below is - without a doubt - the most significant scientific advancement of the 21st Century!
Listen closely, and try to follow along, I realize that a lot of what I'm saying might be a little too technical for your average paper-pusher, but try.