A Perfect Sized Jockey!

People, this might come as some surprise, but I’m perfect! Well, I mean not just “perfect” perfect, but perfect sized for a jockey! I could totally do it! Check the form! Look at the posture, the positioning, the grace, the serious face! Um…that stuff does matter in horse racing right? It’s all about how you look on your mount?

Also, one quick thing I have to say about my personal beliefs about horse racing: I’m against using a whip. I know that this has been kind of in the news after the most recent couple of Kentucky Derbies, so I wanted to make sure that my position on this controversy was clear and on the record.

You see, I don’t really see any reason to use a crop, when all you really need to do is whisper in the horsey’s ear that you want him to ride a bit faster…so simple! I'm the fricking Horse Whisper!

However, if that does not work, I’ve found that a quick nibble is also very motivational! Chew your way to victory!!