Sweater-suit?

Let's pause for a moment and enjoy the fact that I live virtually next door to a Baby-Gap. They have great stuff! I love the way it looks on me! And the prices are almost always right! So, just the other day, we were all out for a walk and were passing the Baby-Gap when mom and dad were lured in by the signs declaring "SALE!!!" So, in we went. Dad has a thing for sweaters, so when he and mom said they found one for me, I trusted in their judgment, I was pumped, sweaters are cool....but when I saw it.....wtf?!
People, sweaters are not meant to be onesies. Sweaters are not meant to be full body suits. Sweaters are not meant to snap around ones legs and privates! First off, look at the color! Do you like the color of my poo? Do you think it looks good on a pale baby? Not only do I look foolish, but it binds, chafes, and it makes me look like I'm smuggling testicles in my pants! I have enough issues with mom and dad dressing me in camo, blues, greens, having no hair, and people telling me all the time what a "handsome" baby I am....but you don't have to make it worse! Hell, before you know it, I'll be demanding that you call me Martin and renting season 1 of The L Word.