Make this work!

So, we all headed out to my favorite museum today....great actives abound and the view don't hurt!

Soon after we entered, I was confronted by my nemesis....the round thing! I have no idea what the hell is wrong with these....it seems like everyone I touch just breaks! The girl before me got it to work, and when she left and I got suited up to play, it was broken! What the hell?

Perhaps someone would be so kind as to change the batteries in this thing? I'm sure that must be the explanation....as there is no other conceivable cause for its malfunction.

After shaking off my frustration with the round thing, I managed to shove down a quick lunch with mom before we headed out for our next activity....

Dancing in the grass! HA! Don't need no batteries for this dance.

Man...I'm exhausted....this shoes might be made for walkin', but they sure to take a lot of work to make them dance! Is nap time soon? I think I need a snack also.

The Morning Brush

Well hello! Good morning to you. Have you come to watch me brush? What a stupid question! Of course you have!

Well, come on over and take a look at my toothbrush....see it? It's right here in my hand...trust me, it's there.

Ok, so here is what we have to do. First, we start in the back and make sure we got all the back teeth clean and sparkly....next....

We move to the front teeth and slowly work them until they are Ryan John Seacrest white. We are talking BLINDINGLY white and glowing!

Lastly, we apprach mom and show her the evidence that we have in fact brushed all our teeth, and if she approves, we move on to the next morning activity....EATING! YEA!

Did you ever look so fine?

Ahhhh....what a day? As I stand - food in hand of course - looking out over a playground on a warm sunny day, I wonder to myself: Does food make everything better?

Sure it would be a nice day....but with a handful of food, would it be so sweet?

Yes....this bouncy thing would bounce, but would it bounce as high? Or as crisply?

Ahhhh....while the day is grand, alas, I don't think that the world will ever be as bright or as wondrous as when looked at through the lens of cream cheese filled bowl.

My "80's Shoes" Rock!

BEHOLD! The most gorgeous, comfy shoes you have ever seen! I know that you are completely and utterly jealous right now but I will let you touch them if you want to make an appointment to come by and check them out in person.

Unless.... you are a hater like mom and dad, then you can forget it!!
For some reason they keep saying that my "80's Jelly Shoes" are hilariously horrible and cannot believe that those have made a come back.
Once again, I dont understand their hating lingo but I promise you this - these shoes are no hand me downs so "coming back" is not even a question. They are just fabulous no matter what angle, right here, right now!

I work hard for my cream cheese!

I've been told that there are no free rides in this world....I didn't really listen that closely because I didn't think it mattered. But then mom further explained that since I was on the porch, I might as well do some weeding and watering since it was such a hot day out....apparently the blank stare I gave her back wasn't a good enough indication that I thought she was out of her mind.

So, to work I went: weeding and watering. Trying my best to make it at least look like I was doing something constructive. Why you ask? Because I was hungry....like usual.

After a bit of working on the dead and dying plants (mom's fault not mine) mom said it was lunch break time, so I made my way into the kitchen for a big spoon full of cream cheese.... So. Damn. Tasty!

As I stood inside enjoying my spoonful of joy, I looked at all the fools outside in the heat and wondered why they were not as smart as I was....why are they still outside when the door is open and no one is forcing them to work? Adults are weird.

Speaking of weird, hey mom, check out how my spoon is lacking cheese....weird no? Perhaps you should get off your duff and do something about it.

Scott Mckenzie

In case you don't know who Scott Mckenzie is, he wrote some song about San Francisco and putting flowers in your hair or something....apparently it was a bit before my time....and mom and dad's as well. Anyway, since we are already in San Francisco, I thought it would be a great idea to put some flowers in my hair!

I mean, look at all the flowers, surely mom and dad will let me pick a few and wear them tastefully in my hair, no? No. Apparently not.

Well, since my and dad are buzz-kills, I guess I'll just have to go to my happy place and dance with the flowers near my hair.

Yea! Grooving with heart boots in the sun....almost feel like we're back in the 60s!

Look, they're almost in my hair! Should I be wearing sunscreen? I'm not sure that I'm tanning.....do you smell something burning?

You call that a belly?!

So, mom's been working on her belly lately. Not sure what made her want to try to step into my area of expertise, but I suspect she was jealous of me. Anyway, let me tell you something mom, you ain't got nothing!

I mean really! You call that a belly? Sure you sit there and moan about "kicking" or something, but what does kicking have to do with working on a big belly? NOTHING!

If you really want to have a belly, you have to focus! You have to be dedicated! You have to eat until you want to puke!

And then....when you don't think you can take anymore...you eat more!

Go ahead...you need to food more than me at this time.....you've got a lot of work to do if you ever want to look like me!

Seriously, you think can compete in the big leagues? Hardly!